


After the Storm

by uncertaintyofknowing



Series: Begin Again [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-12
Updated: 2013-02-12
Packaged: 2017-11-29 01:54:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/681385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uncertaintyofknowing/pseuds/uncertaintyofknowing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Guinevere's side of the story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After the Storm

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the brilliant song with the same name from Mumford & Sons. Seriously; listen to it. It's so appropriate, not to mention brilliant.

When Guinevere meets Arthur, she is instantly attracted to him. Merlin seems to notice and he is weird about it, but she shrugs it off and blames it on him probably wanting to keep his new friend to himself. So, to lessen the burden of guilt, she promises herself that if she manages to get Arthur she will not spend less time with Merlin or let the relationship affect their friendship in any way.

This turns out to be a lie. When she and Arthur start dating, Merlin becomes distant and Gwen becomes busy, and in the middle of it all Arthur seems to tense up whenever Merlin’s name is mentioned and refuses to talk about him.

She wants to ask what happened with them, they had been such good friends until now when they refuse to acknowledge each other, but this thing with Arthur is so new and so fragile and he is so perfect and Gwen? Gwen is scared.

So she doesn’t say anything. It turns out to be for the best, for a while anyway, because Arthur asks her to move in and only months later he asks her to marry him. Arthur is everything she ever imagined wanting; he is strong and handsome, yet lovely and nice and not at all like the stuck up footie freaks she had dated before and he gets along with all of her friends (save Merlin).

She doesn’t hesitate to say yes. Arthur seems pleased, and the wedding is nice. Perfect, even, except for the fact that her former best friend isn’t there and Arthur seems sad at the end of the night. They both blame it on exhaustion and Gwen manages to push the familiar feeling of doubt away, because Arthur was the one who asked her to do this so surely it must be what he wants.

After the honeymoon things settle down and they’re back in a familiar, domestic pattern which Gwen finds both comfortable and boring. Arthur works a lot and is often tired, but nevertheless they decide to try and make a family because Gwen wants it so badly and it seems like a good way to keep Arthur around.

She knows she should probably feel guilty about that last thought, but she can’t. By this point the fear of losing Arthur is so deep rooted she can’t let it go, even when she sleeps in the same bed as him and she can feel the wedding band around her finger like a warm, familiar weight of reassurance.

They find out Gwen can’t have children. She is devastated, and Arthur holds her when she cries. He whispers kind words into her hair and rocks her slowly, before getting up to make her a big mug of steaming, sugary tea, just the way she likes it when she’s sad.

When they make love that night she wants to ask him why he always closes his eyes, but she’s too exhausted and too hurt, so she just curls up next to him afterwards and sleeps, feeling empty from head to toe.

As the years drag on, the intense fear that Arthur will leave her fades. They live comfortably together, they’re best friends and lovers and husband and wife, and Gwen is happy. Arthur seems happy as well, save for the times he seems to get distant and distracted. Gwen blames it on his heavy workload, and leaves it at that.

Five years turn into ten, which turns into fifteen and suddenly they have been married for eighteen years. It reminds Gwen of her parents, who married in their early twenties and stayed together for the rest of their lives. She never thought that she and Arthur would stay together this long, because there is, and was, always something that seems to drag her husband in another direction. She knows he isn’t cheating on her and she knows he loves her a lot, but there is still something that seems a bit…odd.

Gwaine and Morgana get engaged. Gwen is thrilled for them; especially because they met through her and Arthur, Morgana being Gwen’s oldest friend just as Gwaine is to Arthur. Arthur seems weird about it, however, but that is something Gwen has started to get used to throughout the years with him. There is always a part of him she won’t understand, a part he keeps to himself that always reacts in strange ways Gwen can’t find the reason for.

She asks about it, and they fight. In fact they fight almost every day from when they got the invitation until the day of the wedding, and they’re both exhausted from it. Gwen has given up the hope she had of making it last forever, her and Arthur, and she isn’t as sad as she thought she would be. In a way she thinks she might have been prepared for it all along, because the part of Arthur she never got to see kept a certain distance between them which now seems to be in the spotlight.

So, when Arthur asks for a divorce, she is too exhausted to cry, or even feel the loss. She feels empty, of course, but she has felt that way for months, maybe years, although she is only finally feeling it for real.

She goes back to the party and Arthur goes home, and Gwen reconnects with old friends, and feels content.

She even gets talking with Merlin and his new boyfriend, Ethan, a gorgeous blonde bloke who seems perfect for him. They exchange numbers, Gwen and Merlin, and meet up only a few weeks later.

It’s good to have her old friend back again. It’s Merlin she decides to go see after the divorce from Arthur has been finalised, and in a Starbucks on Oxford Street she tells him that they are no longer married. Merlin chokes on his Americano and looks pale and shocked, and Gwen smiles sadly at him before explaining the emptiness and distance she had felt throughout the whole marriage, and convinces herself that the divorce was for the best.

Merlin goes strangely quiet and seems thoughtful, and Gwen hopes she hasn’t made him feel too uncomfortable by breaking the unspoken rule of not mentioning Arthur’s name.

Arthur calls her that night. His voice sounds strained and nervous, and Gwen doesn’t know what to say. He says he has to talk to her, says he has to explain, and Gwen listens. She listens as her now-ex-husbands tells her his deepest secret, one he says he has never told anyone until that night when he had called Gwaine to explain, and gathered up enough courage to tell Gwen as well.

Then he tells her about Merlin, and Gwen thinks back to Starbucks just hours before, thinks back to Merlin’s shocked face and what she now realises was a flicker of hope in his blue eyes.

She bursts out crying.

After that, she doesn’t really contact Merlin much. Not at all, in fact, and he doesn’t contact her either. She speaks as little as possible with Arthur, and manages to avoid him except for when he comes to pick up the last of his things.

It is for the better though, she knows this, and as the months pass by, she starts to feel better. It wasn’t as if the divorce had been a huge surprise to her, and after Arthur’s explanation everything that happened in their years together makes sense. It hurts to think Arthur closed his eyes and (probably) imagined Merlin, or that he would lie in bed and long to be in someone else’s arms, but she also knows she deserves better than that.

A year after Gwaine and Morgana’s wedding, Gwen meets someone. He is a friend of Gwaine, and he is so wonderfully different from Arthur that Gwen falls right away. His name is Lance, he is vegan and wants to save the world; he cares about everyone and everything, and he is so present and attentive that Gwen finds herself mesmerised by him. On top of that, he is also one of the most gorgeous blokes she has met in her life, Arthur included.

As they get closer, she tells him the whole story about her marriage. He listens to her, and when she is finished explaining, he comments on it and provides so much insight and perspective on it that Gwen doesn’t have it in her to feel resentful, so instead she smiles, and kisses him.

Lance kisses back, and Gwen feels happier than she has in years.

When they get married a year later, Gwen invites both Merlin and Arthur, and when she finds out they would have been each other’s plus one anyway, she feels nothing but happiness for them.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the result of an inspiring comment and my friend's threat of "Make it okay, or I'll make sure you spend the rest of your life in the stocks!"
> 
> (or: in which I really wasn't planning on a happy ending, but it just sort of happened anyway)


End file.
